Rabbi Shimon Ben Elazar Said: "Do Not Placate Your Fellow In The Moment Of His Anger; Do Not Comfort Him While His Dead Lies Before Him. Do Not Question Him [About The Details] Of His Vow At The Moment He Makes It; And Do Not Seek To See Him At The Time Of His Degradation."

Do Not Comfort Him While His Dead Lies Before Him

The concept of descent for the sake of ascent is ingrained in the fabric of our existence. The soul has its source in the spiritual realm, and descends to this material plane because this will enable it to achieve a deeper bond with G-d in the spiritual realms after death.

By the same token, the period of mourning is clearly a phase of descent, but through it - and this is its purpose - one is able to ascend to a higher rung than was experienced before. Nevertheless, much striving and effort is required for a person to actually feel, while in the midst of a phase of descent, that this downward thrust is intended solely for the purpose of ascent.

This should be the intent of those who comfort mourners - to help them come to such a realization.[55] While a person's dead lies before him, however, this is impossible, for then his feelings of grief are too powerful to be overcome.

(Sichos Yud-Tes Iyar, 5712)

   

Notes:

55. (Back to text) This concept is also implied by the traditional expression of comfort, "May the Omnipresent comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." For the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash is also a descent for the purpose of ascent - a phase in our progress to the ultimate peaks we will reach in the Era of the Redemption.