By the Grace of G-d
5 Kislev, 5712 [1951]
Brooklyn
...I[121] am not pleased. It appears from your letter that the trust in G-d that should be expected of a Jewish woman in general and of a chassidic wife in particular is not present in yourself in appropriate measure. Accordingly, this affects your health and your household.
Every Jew, man or woman, should constantly keep in mind that G-d, Who conducts the world at large, no doubt also conducts the microcosm of each of us. And just as He has a say in the big world, He certainly has a say likewise in our little personal world. One should depend on Him, trusting that He no doubt leads things in a good direction. Moreover, one should not interfere with this by one's uncertain trust in Him, or by factors that do not accord with the Torah - and one of these is [a lack of] marital harmony.[122]
Until after the arrival of Mashiach, there is no person without a fault. Hence, just as one person has a fault, it is certain that so, too, the other has a fault. And just as one does not want to uncover and highlight one's own fault, one should also not highlight and magnify another's fault. This is how things should be between Jews in general; how much more so when the person under discussion is your husband and the father of your child.
My aim here is not to rebuke, but to make you aware that your situation is not as harsh as you perceive it to be, nor is it exceptional, as you imagine it to be. Each of you should overlook things, preferring to find ways of establishing domestic harmony. And once domestic harmony reigns, this is the vessel into which G-d pours blessing, and success, and good health, and a livelihood, and blissful contentment[123] from one's children.
In my opinion, you would do well to ask your doctor for directives regarding your food and beverages and home management, and to act accordingly. And G-d will no doubt help you, so that everything will come about at the proper time, in a positive way, and successfully.
With blessings,
[...]
Notes:
- (Back to text) Igros Kodesh, Vol. 5, p. 61, Letter 1276.
- (Back to text) In the original (as popularly pronounced), shalom bayis; lit., "peace in the home," i.e., domestic (= marital) harmony. The words bracketed in the above translation are euphemistically omitted in the Yid. original.
- (Back to text) In the original, nachas.