Are you finding bedtime a very stressful time of day? Do you find that by the time the "morning rush hour" is over you feel like you're ready for bed? Have you ever muttered, "There must be a better way!!?" If so, read on...

A few years ago, as our family was growing, bli ayin hora, and there were children of different ages to be put to bed, I was going crazy trying to make sure that all the children had done all that had to be done, before the good-night kiss. After much thought, I came upon a technique that has done wonders for me, the children and my nerves. I drew up two charts, one titled "Evening," and one "Morning." Each chart had a list of questions, and opposite it a list of commands that went through the entire routine for getting up and getting ready for school in the morning, and for going to bed at night respectively. I wrote it on colored paper with colored pens, and made a few simple illustrations, so that the whole thing looked very lively. My children loved it and enjoyed following the questions and instructions.

As the years went by, I made new charts, refined the questions, added and subtracted, but the principle is the same simple idea. Instead of me barking orders or having to check on each child separately, all I must do is ask, "Did you do all your tasks, assignments, duties, missions?" The children enjoy the feeling of "checking up" on themselves alone, and if I'm busy they can guide themselves without forgetting anything important. When I went into labor on Friday evening, and had to go to the hospital during the Shabbos meal, my cousins who came to watch the children later reported that the children kept running to the chart to read, and then they answered, "yes," and "no," to the questions they asked themselves. My cousins were quite amused and impressed.

At the present time, my charts read as follows (use this only as a guide -- create questions according to your needs and situation):

NIGHT

1. Did you put all your books back in place?

2. Did you say a brocha acharona after dinner? Did you remove your dishes from the table?

3. Did you brush your teeth? Did you wash your hands and face?

4. Did you put your shoes next to your bed? Are your clothes in the bathroom?

5. Did you put on pajamas? (Did you put your glasses in a safe and easy-to-find place?)

6. (If you took a bath, did you do negel vasser afterwards?)

7. Did you put negel vasser next to your bed?

8. Do you want to hear a story or a Dvar Torah?

9. Did you say Shema and Hamapil?

10. Sweet dreams! Get up tomorrow with strength and a smile!

Laylah tov!

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MORNING

1. Good morning! Did you say Modeh Ani?

2. Did you wash negel vasser? Did you empty it immediately in the toilet? Did you leave the cup and bowl in the bathroom?

3. Did you get dressed? Did you fold your pajamas and put them away? Did you make your bed? (If you did... a BIG thank you!)

4. Did you rinse your mouth out? (It's written in Shulchan Aruch AND HaYom Yom.)

5. Did you wash negel vasser a second time?

6. Did you give tzedakah?

7. Did you eat breakfast? Did you say a brocha acharona?

8. Did you make sandwiches?

9. Have a good and successful day! See you later. (Do you have a smile on your face?)

Shalom!