(Translated from the Hebrew original in Oholei Chana)

Rosh Chodesh Shevat, 5741

To Katey shetichyeh,

Shalom.

I received your letter several weeks ago, and I have been intending to reply ever since. Today, I said to myself that enough is enough. I must write now! Of course, I apologize about the delay.

And now to the issues. You asked why it is that religious girls do not serve in the Israeli army. I quote from your letter, "Is it so terrible that we, the non-religious girls, do serve in the army?"

You, as a soldier, know very well what life on the army base is like. In a cloistered environment, and often far away from home, deep relationships are formed with those around you. This applies both to those of one's own sex, and to those of the opposite sex. "And what is so terrible about that?" you may ask.

1. The number of pregnancies (and abortions) among female soldiers has doubled in recent years, as well as all types of sexually-related diseases, as is self-understood.

2. The army-type slang which naturally develops within a closed society which receives no input from outside, does not enhance, but rather retards, personality development.

3. Officers, other soldiers with rank, and those serving in the permanent forces etc., whether they serve locally, or whether they are stationed far from home, often use the power of their rank and their authority to coerce or entice their female soldiers into relationships.

4. There is also indirect damage which may be caused by women serving in the army and developing close relationships with members of the opposite sex. There are a vast number of families in Israel whose family lives have been destroyed -- whether by divorce, questionable relationships, or lack of faith in one's spouse.

These facts are known to me from conversations I have had with women soldiers who have become ba'alot teshuvah. Nor are these facts simply theoretical. They have been experienced by these women themselves. For example -- a woman soldier who served in the Air Force told me that she often came across male soldiers in the women's barracks when she was on her way to sleep at night...

And now for a few words about the other side -- the life-style which the Torah prescribes for all Jewish women (and not just for the religious among them), and Jewish men. The Torah, and Jewish tradition, rules that a separation of the sexes until approximately the age of marriage is by far the healthiest arrangement, for several reasons: It reduces the sexual tension which is found to a very high degree in army bases, for example, or in any framework where men and women are placed together. There is no competition between members of the same sex for the attention of members of the opposite sex. Each person can develop normally and healthily, without all the "love-problems" which cause so much heart-ache and worry etc. among today's youth, and which are so unnecessary and unhealthy. In addition, they do not serve any useful purpose whatever as a preparation for a happy marriage afterwards. (See the differences between the marriage and divorce statistics among religious and non-religious segments of the community.)

The Torah sanctions close relationships between the sexes only when there is a possibility of bringing naturally-aroused feelings and emotions to a proper and suitable conclusion -- i.e. at marriageable age when both of them want to set up a family and a bayit b'Yisrael. Problems of extra-marital pregnancy and abortions among unmarried girls, as well as sexually-related diseases and many emotional problems caused directly by contact between the sexes, are literally unknown among the segments of the community who observe Torah and mitzvot.

A man's appreciation of his wife is found to the highest possible degree in marriages which are based on the laws of the Torah.

I would be happy to hear your reactions to the content of this letter, and if you have any further questions, I will be happy to answer them to the best of my ability. Also, I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to my home for Shabbat, so that we can meet in person, and talk more. (You can come with a friend, if you like).

All the best,

Lehitraot, u'lehishtameah,

Nechoma Greisman

Please note: The central point of my argument for women not serving in the army is not that religious women should be exempt from army service, but that all women should be exempt, for the above-mentioned reasons.